Clarky, he's going to kill me for that, and I have been together for almost 4 years now. Some days it seems like so much longer and other days I can't believe it. After four years however, I still find us reminding each other of the 'unspoken rules' in our relationship. Now, let me be clear about a few things:
These are not rules or restrictions we have set in place, but instead an understanding we both have with each other. Some things will always be, and we need to learn to respect those things about each other. Also, although I said they are unspoken, they were definitely at one point verbally mentioned.. many of them several times. It's completely unfair to have expectations of someone but never let them know. So where is all this going? Well, many of these 'rules' are ones that you can either find in several relationships, or maybe they should be. From what I've learned from my own relationships, talking to friends and family, and even noticed as an avid people watcher, there are a few things every girl and guy wants their significant other to know. Here is the list of 'unspoken rules' both Clark and I came up with..
10 Rules from Yours Truly:
1. Most importantly, the words "calm down", "chill out", or "relax" should never, ever be used when I am upset or angry. Ever. It will immediately escalate things, and no one wants that.
2. One foot or back rub a week would go a very, very long way.
3. The words "I love you" will never get old. Every girl needs a little reminder sometimes.
4. When I'm upset about something, please don't try to fix it. I know you want to, but you cannot solve everything. Hug me, let me cry, and remind me you'll always be there. That's all I really need.
5. Your opinion matters to me. I know you think I look good in almost anything, but I genuinely value your opinion on what I'm wearing. When I'm getting ready, changing my outfit a hundred times, making us both late, and I stop to say "What do you think of this?" Look at me, be honest, and say what you think. Yes, fashion is my thing, not yours. But you know me better than anyone and I want to hear what you have to say.
6. Don't be upset that I constantly want to be near you.. I just like you.. And want to hang out with you.. All the time.. It's not creepy or weird, I swear.
7. Say what's on your mind.. or I'll be forced to read into every little thing. We all know how much you hate that.
8. Do not try to win the argument. Even if some how the Earth falls out of it's rotation and I happen to be wrong about something, it will hurt you more to be right than to pretend you were wrong. Just do us both a favor and let me win.
9. You are the most important thing to me.. it's not the work you do, the money you make, or the things you can provide. It's just you. Your happiness will always bring me happiness, and I never want you to think otherwise.
10. Be patient with me. I am overly emotional about everything and will likely overreact about the smallest things. If you never give up and hold my hand along the way, I will likely come out of it happier and stronger than when I went in.
10 Rules from 'Clarky Bear'
1. Guys love when you watch sports with us. If there is a hockey, golf, or football game, it should be on the tv.
2. I will always want to fix your problems.. I'm an Engineer. No matter how many times you tell me it's okay, if I see you hurting, I will try to solve it.
3. You look good in anything.. please stop asking me what I think of your outfit. I'll love you no matter what, as long as we're not late this time.
4. When I say something, take it for what it is. Stop looking for the secret meaning behind it, and convincing yourself that is the truth.
5. When I sing along to the Pretty Little Liars theme song because you have made me watch that show for 4 years, don't advertise it to your friends...
(Well that didn't work out in his best interest.. haha)
6. I don't have a filter. Words come out before I realize, and I should not be held responsible for every dumb thing I say. Stop remembering it all, because I forget it 5 minutes later.
7. I stink. Get used to it.
8. Don't expect me to rub your back for more than 5 minutes. My fingers get tired and I'm not a professional masseuse.
9. I'm not a professional photographer either, so I cannot take more than 5 good pictures during our fashion shoot. When you've been posing for several minutes and I still haven't taken a picture, just smile and remember you could be trying to take a selfie.
10. I love you, even when I forget to say. I always will, so never think otherwise.
Love is a big part of my life, so here I will do my best to give you a glimpse of what it means to me.
For the next year or so, it will be the primary destination for wedding planning updates.