Have you ever found yourself in a situation with a loved one or friend where you have a hard time supporting them? Giving your opinion yet still supporting someone when they don't take it is a hard thing to do. I have experienced this time and time again. I often convince myself that I know what is best for someone and get upset when they don't listen. It is extremely difficult to let go and support someone you care about, regardless of their decisions.
Now, I recognize that there are decisions out there that should never be supported, but I'm not referring to those. That is an entirely different, very tricky situation that needs to be addressed case by case. Supporting someone you love in decisions that don't harm them or others however should be done every time. Although extremely difficult, I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people who teach me this lesson daily.
A few examples:
I am slowly learning to give up control and encourage my friends and family to do what makes them happiest. It is not just smiling and going along with what they say, but it is helping them to make it happen; it is understanding that this is what they want, and wanting it for them. Sometimes Clark says "What if I find out I don't want to be an engineer", or once he asked "What if I want to become an engineering professor?". At first, I start to think things like...
"Umm why did we move to Milwaukee for you to go to engineering school??"
"On that income I could never afford to stop working and be a stay at home mom!"
Then I remember that loving him means supporting him. I want him to be happy, and to do that I need to make him feel good about his decision, not guilty as though he hurt me with it. So whether his decision to be an engineer, go to grad school, be a teacher, or open a soup food truck (a recent dream of his) I will support him just as he does for me.
Love is a big part of my life, so here I will do my best to give you a glimpse of what it means to me.
For the next year or so, it will be the primary destination for wedding planning updates.